Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
