I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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