So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize