I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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