Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Randomize