i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
