I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
