There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
