hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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