if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
