Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
