Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
