Me. At least after what I've been through.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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