I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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