I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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