ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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