Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
