Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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