So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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