all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
