She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
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On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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