Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize