Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
