I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
