I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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