Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
