I hate all girls vehemently.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
