I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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