sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
