you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
