I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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