no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
