Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
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He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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