my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Still dying that you shit outside
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
