He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
