he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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