Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
