i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
