You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
