I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
