I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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