i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
