I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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