I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
