It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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