I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
as a side note pls kill me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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