I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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