I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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