We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
