Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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