the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
