Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Pooping to opera.
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