There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize