so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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