she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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