Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
