pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
