okay pat passed out under dana's car
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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