Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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