I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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