I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
